


Circle of Contemplation

by AislinCeivun



Series: Shapes of Tomorrow [2]
Category: Atlantis (UK TV)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Friendship, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Guilt, M/M, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Post - The Furies, Regret, Slow Build, Slow Burn, post 1x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislinCeivun/pseuds/AislinCeivun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the trio crosses the desert for the second time, Jason does his best to help Pythagoras deal with the resurfacing of his childhood trauma – and due to a couple of long nocturnal conversations, he ends up learning a lot more about the young genius that he’d ever expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circle of Contemplation

**Author's Note:**

> The title is actually borrowed from the name of a sacred place in Lynn Flewelling’s Nightrunner universe. :) It’s a giant room inside the Illioran Temple of Rhíminee, where herbs are burnt and people can free their mind and mediate before seeking answers and guidance from the goddess Illior (who speaks through an Oracle, heh!). 
> 
> To my greatest pleasure, I still have Lauren ([ **hercolourwasred**](http://hercolourwasread.tumblr.com)) beta-reading my work. She's one of the loveliest betas who'd ever helped me out, and mere words can't express just how grateful I am for her neat suggestions, useful advices and hilarious comments. Thank you so much, dear! :3
> 
> **ETA (14/03/2015): deinonychus_1 made amazing covers for every instalment of this series, wow! Go check them out[ **here**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3538652)!**   
> 

__

Despite all the hardships their caravan had encountered while travelling to Helios, the journey back to Atlantis was, in many ways, harder. They knew what to expect, knew where to take shelter, yet it somehow felt less safe with only the three of them around. For this reason, they kept together all the time, never letting anyone out of sight for more than a few minutes.

What made the journey more difficult than the first time around, though, was the fact that Pythagoras seemed to close off completely to Jason and Hercules. When they were travelling with the caravan, they were bickering, laughing, and sharing jokes with each other - even in spite of the strange occurrences. Now, it was just the three of them again; they should've felt more intimate this way, like the family they were, yet something was clearly missing. Pythagoras smiled when it was to be expected, talked with them and complained about Hercules' snoring, but there was a certain hardness lurking behind his eye that wasn't there before. Every time he attempted to smile, it seemed forced, like shame and pain wanted to put a quick end to the gesture. When not addressed specifically, he rode his horse in silence for hours, barely raising an eye to the others and apparently getting lost in his thoughts.

Jason watched it all with increasing worry. He had known something was not right from the moments Arcas had suddenly appeared in front of them, but now, that he was aware of the reason behind Pythagoras' odd silence, it was all the more obvious. He sincerely hoped that gaining his brother's forgiveness would finally ease the heavy burden from his friend's soul, but there was no such luck. If anything, Pythagoras just sank deeper and deeper into himself.

The first night they spent in a cave on the way back, Pythagoras seemed to be really restless and bothered, and offered to take the first watch. Later that night, when Jason startled awake from a dream - in which ominous wind was screeching at him as he got pushed down from a cliff - he slowly got up from the ground and walked to Pythagoras.

"Hey," he said quietly, sitting down beside his friend. The blond man tensed up for a second, but didn't move away. "Why don't you go and sleep a bit? I'll take over."

"There is no need," Pythagoras said, not meeting Jason's eye. "I'm not tired. You just keep on resting."

Jason knew a blatant lie when he saw one. Exhaustion was practically oozing from the man's stance, physical as well as emotional. These past few days must have been extremely hard on him, and Jason couldn't understand why he would say otherwise. He watched as Pythagoras drew triangles into the dust on the floor absently with a wooden stick, the way his long slender fingers trembled ever-so-slightly over it. He seemed uncomfortable with Jason being so close to him, which Jason couldn't for the life of him understand. Midnight heart-to-hearts were starting to become some odd but welcomed thing between them, after all.

Except, Pythagoras looked nothing like someone wanting to spill his heart out right now.

"I can't really sleep," Jason said then, stretching his legs out. The rocks were a bit too cold for his liking, even with the small campfire nearby, but he didn't bother himself with it. "If you're not sleepy, either, I'll keep you company."

Pythagoras' lips opened up, but then he couldn't seem to come up with a reasonable way to get Jason leave, so he shrugged awkwardly and yet again fixed his gaze on the ground. "As you wish."

The silence was strained and heavy with unsaid things - and Jason was having a hard time accepting that. He had gotten used to always feeling at ease with Pythagoras, and now that this clearly wasn't the case, he didn't know what to do to make it better. It wasn't like he had any right to pry… he _had_ kept his own secrets, after all. Only, those were nothing like the secret Pythagoras had hidden from them. The only reason Jason hadn't revealed his own was because nobody would've believed him. It was surreal, madness.

But, from a certain perspective, Pythagoras secret was a surreal madness as well…

"I know what you are thinking" Pythagoras said suddenly, not lifting his gaze from their pathetic excuse of a fire. Jason tensed up, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, even though he _knew_ that his friend couldn't have read his mind.

"Yeah?" he asked with a hum, trying to sound casual. "Then what am I thinking?"

Pythagoras swallowed, his hand coming to a halt in the middle of drawing the next triangle. It took some moment for him to find his voice, and when he did, his speech was nothing more than a whisper. "'Look at him… such an awkward, gentle and kind-hearted guy. Who would have thought that he harboured such a dark secret? Who would have thought that he was nothing more than a murd-'"

"You're not," Jason cut in firmly.

"Jason…"

"You're _not_ ," he repeated. "I know that's probably what you've been calling yourself all these years, but you aren't that. You hear me, Pythagoras?" When the man just bit on his lip and swallowed miserably, Jason reached out and put his hand on Pythagoras' arm ignoring the way his friend flinched from the touch. "Look at me. Please."

When Pythagoras tentatively raised his eyes to him, Jason returned the gaze firmly. "You are _not_ a murderer. Do you understand that? It was an accident. And he deserved it."

"No one deserves to be killed, Jason," Pythagoras whispered wetly, eyes brimming with tears. "Not even him. What I've committed… is patricide. Do you have any idea what patricide means around here? What _should_ have happened to me had my mother not hide the truth from everyone?"

A lump formed in Jason's throat. No, he did not know, but he thought he had a good idea as to what killing your father must have meant in this age. Now that he looked at the obviously distressed Pythagoras, his heart clenched painfully at the sight, beating an aching rhythm against his ribs. The man's lips were trembling, his face was ghostly white and deep-rooted sorrow danced across the eyes that bore into Jason like daggers.

Suddenly, it was as if a tap was opened in Pythagoras; the long-buried thoughts came flooding out of him, overwhelming them both, and Jason let it happen. Listened.

"He was not a good man. I've always known that. He drank frequently, but even when he wasn't pissed, he often beat up Mother. He… He hated me, for not being strong and brave like other boys. For not being more like _him_."

Pythagoras closed his eyes and swallowed. Jason found himself following the way his Adam-apple bobbed with the motion.

"I've never been anyone other than, well, myself. Even when I was little, I preferred staying at home and reading books to going out with other kids. I never went hunting with Father, I was useless with weapons, I took small animals home in secret. And he despised me for it. He wanted a son who resembled him, and I never was that son. He…" Pythagoras exhaled loudly, finger twitching around the wooden stick he still held. "He blamed Mother for it. Sometimes, I woke up at night to the sound of him shouting and Mother crying. In his eyes, I was absolutely worthless, and he claimed that it was Mother's fault for boring a kid that took after her instead of him."

Jason couldn't bear it any longer: he put his arm around his friend's shoulders and pulled him close, not quite embracing but something similar. Pythagoras tensed up for a second, breath hitching in his throat, but after a moment or so, he let out a shaky sigh and sagged against Jason.

"There is nothing wrong with you. There never was," Jason murmured quietly into the soft blond locks. "You are perfect the way you are."

He could feel Pythagoras swallow against his chest.

"He would beg to differ. To him, I was… well, everything he never wanted to see in his child. But then Arcas was born, and it quickly turned out that he was finally someone Father could be proud of. Arcas was a loud child; he always demanded attention, ate everything that was put in front of him, was never prone to sickness quite like me… Father took it as a good sign. He took Arcas everywhere, showed him to his friends and bragged about him. My brother adored him, looked up to him, and for some time, Father wasn't so violent with me and Mother. We thought it'd finally get better."

"Except, it didn't."

Pythagoras slowly shook his head. "No. Arcas was just a little boy then, and no matter how pleased Father was with him, it couldn't overwrite the fact that I was a constant disappointment. After I turned nine, Father started my archery lessons. He claimed that the only reason I didn't enjoy the hunts was because I didn't know what to do. But I couldn't… I was terrible even when it was just shooting at wooden aims, but when he wanted me to shoot a rabbit…" He shook his head again, and it didn't escape Jason's notice how his fingers started to clench into his tunic. "He was furious. He shot the rabbit himself, then went back into the house and brought Arcas out, who was little more than two years old at the time. Father handed him his dagger, then, telling him to finish off the wounded animal. And… and Arcas did."

"I've never saw Father being so proud. He _laughed_ , Jason! He took Arcas into his arms, patted his head and told him, 'You did well, son!' And I…" Suddenly, Pythagoras was staring right at Jason, and Jason shuddered upon recognising the hunger for love within those wide, sky blue orbs. Pythagoras had _wanted_ his father's praise; he strived for it… and never had a chance. "I felt terrible. I left them there and went back to the house. Never touched the bow again."

"Then… One day, when Arcas and I were playing outside, we found a bird. It must've been sick, or maybe injured its wing, because it couldn't fly away. I told Arcas we should put it to somewhere safe and feed it till it gets better. But when I turned my back to him, Arcas, he… he grabbed a big stone and… hit the bird's head. It died instantly."

"I was shocked. Couldn't do anything, really, beside just standing there, frozen, as Arcas showed me the bloody carcass, grinned like he did something really good and said, 'Papa will be proud!'." Pythagoras closed his eyes again and lowered his head, hiding his face from Jason. When he continued, his voice was yet again quiet like the rustling of a butterfly's wings. "I don't know what come over me, but suddenly, I was in rage. I tore the bloody stone out of his hand and slapped him as hard as I could. I shouted that he was a monster."

Jason struggled to swallow back the sharp hiss that threatened to tore itself free from his mouth. One didn't have to be a genius to put two and two together and realise what must've happened. Pythagoras, however, seemed to be over the point where he could've stopped, and Jason was determined to listen. He had an inkling that this was the first time his friend had ever spilled his heart out like this, and no matter how hard it was to listen, he knew his discomfort was still nothing compared to what Pythagoras must have felt.

"Of course he told Father about it right away. That night, he dragged me out of bed and… I was never beaten up that bad in my life." Pythagoras was shivering violently by now. A lone tear spilled from the wet, fluttering lashes, streaming down his pale cheek, and the sight clenched at Jason's heart with surprising force. "He threatened to break my neck if I ever raise my hand to Arcas again. Spat that I wasn't worth half of what my brother was, that I was a disgrace to our family… Mother tried to stop him, but then he started hitting her instead, shouting that it was all her fault…"

"Pythagoras," Jason whispered in a tight voice, feeling as though his eyes were burning from the inside. He couldn't help throwing his arms tightly around the man, hugging him as close as he could, as if he could force all the bad memories out of him with his embrace.

A strangled sound escaped Pythagoras, and in the next moment, he was winding his arms around Jason, burying his face into his chest. The cheeks against his body burnt from heat, and tears soaked through the thin layer of the tunic instantly, making Jason shudder. He tightened his arms around his friend and started stroking his back soothingly.

"I-it was worse after that," Pythagoras choked out in a voice that could barely be recognised. "He started drinking more heavily, came home reeking of ale or wine every night. Mo-Mother was always covered in bruises, and Father was shouting at her all the time… Sometimes even Arcas woke up to that, but Father always stopped when Arcas was around and explained away Mother's injuries. But then, one night, it was the worst ever; he was kicking Mother so hard that she coughed up blood, so I ran to him, crying and pleading, a-and… when he didn't stop I pu-pushed him away and… and…"

"Ssh," Jason mumbled into the soft blonde curls when a broken cry emerged from his friend. "You don't have to say it again."

"I _killed_ him, Jason," Pythagoras sobbed into his tunic. "I didn't want to, but I did! My own _father_! There was blood everywhere, on my clothes, on my _hands_ … Mother had to drag me away from his body. I cried the whole time while she cleaned up the blood and pulled Father's body outside as if he was murdered there… And I felt like the worst being on the whole world when Arcas came crying to me…"

"It wasn't your fault."

"I lied to my own brother for _twelve_ years! I told him Father wouldn't want us to grieve so much. I listened to him planning to take revenge on the murderer, and I could never… I was so weak! I still am. Who was I kidding; I'd have never been brave enough to tell him the tru-"

"Pythagoras!" Jason grabbed the man's shoulders and shook him hard, because he knew that his friend was starting to go into shock. True enough, the blue eyes were wide and unfocused, looking at Jason but not clearly not seeing him. "Pythagoras, pull yourself together! Your father was a _monster._ He didn't deserve to be called a father. He abused your mother and you, he wanted to make your brother into a cruel monster like he was - that's not someone you should feel so much sorrow over! He never loved you, so why are you -" The words abruptly died in his mouth.

Pythagoras made that choking sound again, sagging against Jason completely. Even though the cave was really cold at this time of the night, his body burnt like he had a temperature.

"That's it," Jason whispered, suddenly seeing clear. "You loved him. That's the reason why it eats at your heart so much."

"I loved an _idea_ , not him," Pythagoras rasped in a tight, self-mocking voice. "I loved the father I convinced myself I had. But that man had never existed. I am well aware of that now."

Jason cradled Pythagoras' head in his palms, stroking some sweaty locks away from his face. "Yet you loved him still," he murmured gently.

Pythagoras sucked in his lips, shining blond lashes once again trembling against his cheeks. "I wanted to hate him. I wanted to hate him so much…"

"Sometimes you can't," Jason mused quietly. He let Pythagoras cry against him for a few moments before adding softly, "You were a good kid, Pythagoras. A great kid. If he couldn't see that, it was his loss."

The blond man whimpered, and his fingers clawed almost painfully into Jason's back. Jason didn't mind it, though. He wouldn't have minded if Pythagoras scratched angry red welts into his skin if that helped easing some of this pain he'd carried within himself for so long.

He remained silent, stroking Pythagoras's back with soft motions as his friend wept for what he suspected was the first in a very long time. He probably dropped a kiss or two onto the top of his head, too, Jason reckoned. His neck was aching like hell, his backside started to get really uncomfortable on the cold ground, and his legs went asleep, but he wouldn't have moved for the world. Not when Pythagoras needed him as badly as one needed oxygen.

Jason was still shocked to the core from all the revelations of the past day. That Pythagoras had buried this dark secret inside him for so long was unbelievable. And what Jason had learnt about his father… Well, let's just say that the man was incredibly lucky for not walking on the earth by now.

A long time have passed until Pythagoras' sobbing died away and his breathing finally eased. Still, he didn't say a word for at least another half an hour.

When Jason thought he'd fallen asleep at last, though, he muttered, "I've never told anyone about this. Actually, I still can't believe I spilled it all out to you."

"Sometimes, you have to talk about it to be able to let go," Jason murmured back, resting his cheek against the straggly mop of head. "Are you feeling any better?"

Pythagoras closed his eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry for… the mess."

"It's fine. Thank you for telling me." He squeezed his friend's shoulder encouragingly before curling his arms back around the thin waist. Pythagoras didn't seem to mind it (quite the opposite, actually; he hummed in appreciation and snuggled closer to Jason, a faint flush finally starting to bring back some colour onto his face) and Jason had a suspicion that Pythagoras was in high need of some physical comfort - especially after the ordeal of recalling how in all his life he was denied of the fatherly love he wanted to gain so hard, simply for being who he is.

It was unforgivable.

"Does your brother know about any of this?" Jason asked a while later, inwardly musing about creative ways he could have punished Pythagoras' father had he been alive.

"About how Father was an abusive drunkard who regularly beat up Mother and me? No, and I don't ever want to tell him about that in detail. You have seen how he reacted; he wouldn't believe me." Sighing, Pythagoras started fingering the laces of Jason's tunic absent-mindedly. "For all his faults, he wasn't a bad father to Arcas, and that's what Arcas remembers about him. If he has this idealised image of Father, I don't wish to ruin his memories of him. The gods know, I've taken more than enough from him already."

Jason eyed Pythagoras in silence for some time before opening his mouth to say, "You amaze me. I don't understand how you can still care about your father's memory after what he did to you."

The flush on Pythagoras' face deepened, causing a warm feeling to blossom inside Jason at the sight of the obviously embarrassed mathematician.

"What was your relationship with Arcas after what happened?"

Jason knew he was pushing his luck with all these questions, but his friend seemed to be calm by now, and Jason didn't know when he'd get another chance to hear Pythagoras open up like this. He rarely ever talked about his past, reluctant to share even the smallest of details, and though Jason finally understood the reason behind it all, it was nice to finally learn more about this brilliant, wonderful man.

Luckily, Pythagoras' talkative mood seemed to - at least for now - last.

"After Father was… gone," he started, gazing ahead through half-lidded eyes, "Arcas became hard to deal with. He cried a lot, was often angry, sullen… He missed Father badly and wanted to talk about him, I guess, but I've always put a quick end to that. He knew I was never as fond of Father as he, but had always said that I was just jealous of him for being Father's favourite. The truth is, I couldn't ever look at my brother without being reminded of what I had done, so I started distancing myself from him. Add that to the fact that we were always so different by nature, and it's really not a surprise that we didn't get on very well after that."

"Anyone with eyes can see that you love him. I'm sure he knew it, too."

"Yeah, well… Loving someone doesn't mean much if you don't act accordingly." Pythagoras shook his head. "My guilt was so strong that I never really played with him anymore. Arcas was barely over ten years old when I left home and came to Atlantis, and the next time I saw him was on our mother's funeral."

The words were spoken so softly that it took a moment till their meaning kicked in. "Oh, god. I'm so sorry, Pythagoras. What happened?"

"A sickness broke out in our village. Took many good man and woman, Mother included." The man shrugged as if to say, 'there was nothing we could do'. "It happened two years ago. I had just moved in with Hercules, but told Arcas he could come and stay with us. He refused, though, understandably, and I can't say I was very disappointed with his answer. I suppose he went and got himself some work, but I never saw or heard about him after that up until three days ago."

"You surely looked like someone seeing a ghost when he showed up," Jason admitted teasingly, trying to ease up the conversation a bit, and happy to see the way Pythagoras smiled.

"I'm glad we made up now," he said suddenly, glancing up at Jason, "but I'll never stop feeling guilty. Not just about Father… but about Arcas as well. He was terribly young when he lost his adored father, I left him when he was ten, and at fourteen, he lost Mother as well. It's no wonder he had grown up to be such a rough gambler. I wasn't exactly a good brother to him… and I'll forever regret that." He huffed out a breath of air, shaking his head, then added on a whisper, "This was the first time he hugged me since we were kids."

Jason squeezed his friend's arm, pulling him closer. "Sixteen is still young. And now he knows that you are here to help him out if he has problems, right?"

"Jason, he went away. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't show up again for years."

"He probably has to digest all what happened, but that doesn't mean he won't return. And then you can start being a better brother."

Pythagoras huffed and starting drawing into the dirt again, this time, with his finger. "You say it like it was so easy. How would you know, you haven't even got any siblings." Abruptly, the blue eyes rose to Jason. "Or do you?"

"No," Jason said, shaking his head. "It was always just Dad and me. I never even knew my mother, she died at childbirth."

"I'm sorry," Pythagoras said with sincere regret in his expression. "It must have been hard."

"No more than to you, I'd say. We were alone, but we were happy. And… it's the past now."

"But are you?" Pythagoras insisted, raising his head so he could look directly into Jason's eye. "Happy now? Was it worth it, starting on this journey in search of your father?"

"Definitely," Jason replied in an instant. "I'm still not sure about my purpose, and I think I'm still in the dark about half of the things I should know, but… I'm getting there. Yeah, I'm really glad I ended up here."

Something fluttered softly in his stomach at the brilliant, relieved smile Pythagoras had flashed at him. "That's good to hear, because I can't imagine our days anymore without you being right here with us."

The strange fluttering intensified, and Jason was shocked to discover that his face had started to heat up in synch with the light blush that appeared on his friend's cheeks. To cover his embarrassment, he dropped his gaze to the ground (where at least half a dozen triangles were sketched into the dirt by now, he was amused to discover) and cleared his throat.

"And what about you? How come you've come to Atlantis all by yourself?"

Pythagoras chuckled as he withdrawn slightly to push his back against the cool rock. "This conversation is starting to feel like a midnight interrogation."

"It's actually closer to dawn," Jason noted, raising his eyes to the warm golden lights that had started to penetrate the thick darkness of the night outside the cave. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's just, you so rarely talk about yourself, and I… well… I'm curious, I guess. But tell me if I'm prying, and -"

"No, it's fine, really," Pythagoras interrupted with another quiet chuckle. "It's just… strange. I'm not used to talking about these things."

"Not even with Hercules?"

"Nah. You know how he is. But… it actually feels kind of nice now. With you."

Pythagoras wouldn't meet his eyes as he said that, and Jason was grateful, because he was sure he looked just as embarrassed. "So, why did you come to Atlantis alone?"

"Well, I'm afraid there is no great story behind it. I've never really felt at ease in Samos after… Father's death. There was a great scholar in the town, though, Anaximander, and he started teaching me mathematics, astronomy and Latin, as well as reading and writing. I believe he was fond of me, and I adored him deeply. He was the first one to not tell me off for finding triangles so intriguing but actually encouraging me to pursue studying them… and through him, I met the dearest friend of my childhood, Naos."

Pythagoras fell silent for some moments, and Jason let him, not oblivious to the fact that his friend had probably got lost in memories. Soon, however, the man continued, if a bit dazedly.

"It was a year after I… after Father died. I was eleven and Naos fourteen. He was a former pupil of Master Anaximander, too, but by that time he was tutored by… his erastes."

Pythagoras shot a shy and oddly worried look at Jason, but he just frowned at the strange-sounding word. _Erastes_... It was strangely familiar, but Jason couldn't place it.

Whatever Pythagoras was looking for on Jason's face, he was either satisfied with the result or simply hadn't found it, because he hastily started talking again. "We got on really well, and it was great, because it took my mind away from, well, the problems at home. I never really had any friends before, you know; he was the first. We became… close, especially after I was past thirteen. We met up often, studied together or just, I don't know, did things together, and so I had an excuse to not be home that often. Arcas didn't like him, but he didn't really concern himself with Naos."

"Those were easily my best years. Sometimes, I could forget about the weight I carried." The softness in his eyes suddenly dissolved, a pained coolness growing in its pace as Pythagoras sighed, turning his head away and gazing absently at the dawning sky outside their gave. "A couple of years later, however, Naos parted ways with his erastes, married the daughter of his neighbour and moved away from Samos."

"After he left, I… got lonely, I guess. I was at the age where the fits and demands of my much younger brother often bothered me, and I had no friends in the village. That went on for some months before Master Anaximander told me that his son was leaving for Atlantis in a week, and suggested I went with him. 'A brilliant lad like you belong in the great city where your genius can truly be acknowledged', he said. You know, it was a surprisingly easy decision. Mother supported the idea, saying she'd always known I wasn't destined to stay there. Next week, I left Samos and never looked back." Pythagoras dropped his gaze to the ground and added in a small voice, "Sometimes I wonder if I should have."

Jason couldn't really say anything to that. The way he saw it, Pythagoras couldn't be blamed for wanting to go as far away from Samos as he could, in a desperate attempt to leave everything - especially his terrible memories and heavy burden - behind. Even if the rift that had formed between the brothers was partly his fault, it was clear to Jason that the only reason as to why his friend would've distanced himself from Arcas - whom he clearly loved - was that he couldn't bear the constant weight of his guilt and remorse.

Jason sincerely hoped that with time, Arcas would come to understand this as well.

Pythagoras swallowed back a yawn and leant back against Jason, his finally relaxed form a constant source of heat against Jason's body. The dark-haired man couldn't feel the coolness of the rocks under his backside anymore, nor the rigid cold behind his back; everything was pleasantly warm, as if he'd just drunk some hot beverage that has started to pool inside him, filling every member of his body with liquid, billowing heat.

He couldn't deny the fact that getting Pythagoras open up so much to him was a delight he never knew he'd wanted; a treasure he wanted to protect, and be worthy of. This brilliant man had trusted him with those deepest secrets of his heart that were never spilled to anyone before, and Jason wanted to live up to this trust with everything he had.

Pythagoras yawned again, and Jason impulsively ruffled the soft blond curls that tickled the sensitive skin of his neck. "You haven't slept all night. You should take a quick nap before Hercules awakes, or else you'll be useless all day."

"I'm already going to be useless," Pythagoras hummed, eyes falling closed. From this short distance, Jason could see the honey-coloured lashes perfectly, some of which were still stuck together wetly. He had the strangest urge to hug the man again, but fought the feeling back. "I'm tired, but if I fall asleep now, you won't be able to wake me up before noon."

"You're going to fall asleep either way if you're staying like that." As soon as the words were out, Jason cringed. He didn't really want Pythagoras to move away.

As fortune would have it, Pythagoras also seemed reluctant to pull back.

"Then talk to me," he said, not moving an inch. "If I'm listening to someone, I never can fall asleep, I swear. Well, except if I have to listen to Hercules rant about booze or women, but that's a different story altogether."

Jason chuckled, relaxing back against the rocks. "What do you want me to talk about?"

"Tell me about yourself. I told you so much… Give me something in return."

Jason bit on his lip. He couldn't really talk about himself, not the way his friend wanted to, but Pythagoras was right; after he had bared so much of himself for Jason, it really was only fair that Jason did the same.

So he started talking about his childhood, careful not to mention anything that would cause the man to realise just how different his hometown "Londonis" was. He talked about how odd he'd always felt, _alone_ in the great city where thousands of people were around him all the time; how he loved his dad, had always strived for his praises and smiles. He told Pythagoras that he always had "nurses" to look after him, but his father had always come home in time to tuck him in bed, stroke his cheek and tell Jason that he loved him.

He was afraid that hearing about the love between his father and himself would make Pythagoras sad or envious, but he could detect no such feeling in his friend's expression. With his closed eyes and calm face, Pythagoras looked like he was dozing off, expect that he chuckled and huffed and smirked when Jason was talking about any particularly ridiculous or pathetic aspects of his childhood shenanigans.

After he finished the story about how he lost one of his baby teeth walking into a tree when he was seven, both of them jumped at the deep gurgles of laughter that reverberated along with their own chuckling.

"How long have you been awake?" Jason asked Hercules, who was just getting up from his made-up pallet.

"For a while now?" Hercules chuckled and snorted, scratching his jaw. "Remind me to never surprise you with the shed tail of a lizard!"

"That long, eh?" Pythagoras said, grinning, while Jason just stood there, gaping at Hercules.

"But it's so disgusting!" he blurted out, unable to keep the mortification out of his voice. Those embarrassing stories were for Pythagoras' ears only! "It wiggles and writhes, even though it's just a tail! How can you not find it horrible?"

"Well, yeah, it kind of is - but not so much as to make me throw up!"

"Oh, god." Jason wasn't going to live this through. There was no way. Hercules wouldn't let him, _ever._

Small mercy as it was, their big friend seemed occupied with other thought for now. "I say we grab some breakfast, feed the horses and leave before the sun comes higher up. If I remember the distance well, we should reach the oasis by midday; then we could survive the worst of the heat there. Also, the sooner we get back to Atlantis, the better!"

"I'm fine with the idea," Pythagoras said with a nod. He stood up and brushed most of the dust and dirt from his tunic before walking to the bag that contained the food they'd got in Helios. "What do we want to go with the bread first? Bacon or cheese?"

Hercules snorted. "What kind of inane question is that? Both, of course!"

Jason laughed and shook his head.

He adored these guys.

 

* * *

 

They did reach the oasis by noon.

It was the hottest day they'd spent in the desert since they'd left Atlantis; with the sun blazing at full force and the dry air not moving at all around them, they were all sweating heavily. Jason couldn't keep his nose from wrinkling at the foul smell that was steaming from his heated horse, his wet hair itched like hell and stuck to his forehead constantly, bugs were flying in front of his eyes all the time and he could hardly bear his own smell.

By the time they've spotted the oasis, Jason was sure his brain was boiling inside his skull.

"Keep it on yourself," Pythagoras called on him sharply when Jason had started to take off his tunic. "Remember what Nilas said; you can burn your skin really bad in the desert."

"I'm already burning," Jason muttered, but reluctantly let go of the tunic. Pythagoras didn't look any better (his cheeks got a bit sunburnt - skin more sensitive to the sun due to his pale colouring - which made him look like he was blushing constantly) but abided with it impressively. Or maybe he was just too tired to bother.

"We'll reach the oasis in half an hour," Hercules grunted, wiping the sweat from his brows. "That'll be a haven in this heat."

True enough, as soon as they finally reached the oasis, they rode under the vivid green trees and took shelter from the sun under the broad shrouds. The horses trotted to the lake immediately, dropping down their heads to drink from the water, whinnying contentedly.

"I'll go take a swim," Hercules muttered a while later. "The lake must be _heavenly_ cool."

"Don't we get sunburnt more easily in water?" Jason asked, frowning.

"I don't care. I'm about to faint from my own reek, and that's saying something."

Jason sniffed and pulled a face. "Well, can't argue with that."

In the end, he joined Hercules, too. They shed their clothes quickly, took off their sandals and dived into the lake with a satisfied groan. It was quite shallow - the water level didn't reach up higher than their hips - but deliciously cool compared to the heat of the air. Jason splashed the water all over his body, throwing his head back with a happy, joyous whoop before sinking down to his knees to get more of his body covered in that perfect coolness.

"Won't you come in as well, Pythagoras?" Hercules shouted at the blond man after emerging from underwater. "You don't want to be the only one to reek, now, do you?"

"I'm not sure," Pythagoras said, walking to the lake tentatively. He sat down to the dry, shingly ground, took off his sandals and stretched his legs to sink his feet into the water. It didn't escape Jason's notice how he shivered in pleasure at the sensation. "I really don't want to deal with sunburn."

"You don't have to stay in for long," Jason joined in with the conversation, splashing more water onto his hair. "We won't stay long, either. But it really helps to refresh a bit."

"Anyone could see us. And you _are_ aware that there are some who _drink_ from this water, aren't you?" Despite the objections, however, he'd started to strip down, and before long, he walked into the lake.

"Now that's better, wouldn't you say?" Hercules asked, grinning.

Pythagoras just shook his head, but he was smiling.

Jason kept on splashing himself with the cool, brownish-coloured water, but from the corner of his eye, he glanced at his young friend. He'd noticed the faint scars on his body the first time they've went to the bathhouse together, and now that he knew the reason behind them, they seemed to stood out all the more. There were many small, white lines crossing at Pythagoras' shoulders and on his back, with a few more scar tissues around his hips. Jason had been musing about the origin of these from the second he saw them, but his friendship with Pythagoras was so new back then - they had known each other for, what, two or three days? -, he didn't dare to pry and later, it just didn't seem right to bring up the topic.

Now that he'd thought about it, Pythagoras would've probably explained them away with a shrug or a made-up tale, anyway.

Now, however, Jason had no illusions about the origin of the scars, and this knowledge made fury and rage boil up inside him with poisonous force. Pythagoras had talked about how he and his mother had been beaten up regularly - but he mentioned _nothing_ about knifes and cutting.

Just then, Pythagoras noticed Jason's hard stare, and tensed up. His face flushed in embarrassment, hand unconsciously coming up to rest against the biggest, star-shaped tissue on his hip, hiding it from view.

"You don't need explanation, do you?" he asked quietly, avoiding eye-contact.

 _Yes, I do!_ , Jason wanted to shout, but seeing his friend's expression, he swallowed the words back. "No, if you don't want to talk about it."

"I don't want to," Pythagoras said instantly. Then he added slowly, "Thank you."

"I've always been convinced that I'd make a horrible father," Hercules grunted then, distaste evident on his face, "But I suspect I'd have been a prize to you."

"No way!" Pythagoras groaned. "You'd be absolutely _horrible_!"

"I don't know, he did quite well with Oedipus," Jason said with a small smile. His gut still clenched up every time he thought of the baby (Oedipus, _Oedipus_ \- it figured) but he was glad for the ease of tension.

Pythagoras snorted. "Please - he'd praise his child if it farted. Eat all its food. Raise it to be an irresponsible gambler. Make it drink wine instead of milk."

"Hey, that's not a bad thing!" Hercules cut in shamelessly. "I heard that kids sleep better if you mix some hot wine into their milk."

The two younger men gaped at him, until Pythagoras finally groaned out, "Please tell me you didn't get Oedipus drunk while he stayed with us."

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Oh gods!"

"Don't pull that face on me," Hercules grunted, shrugging, before he splashed water onto Pythagoras, causing the man to yelp. "A little alcohol is good for the body, everyone knows it."

"But the amount you digest can hardly be called _little!"_

"How would you know? You never drink a pint of - OUCH! Jason what was that for?!"

Jason however didn't spare a glance at the complaining, muttering man. Instead, he fixed his gaze on his other friend; the one that was breathing just a little bit too hard, who seemed a bit too pale, whose hand was trembling slightly. The one, that, upon noticing the realisation in Jason's intense gaze, sucked his lip in and averted his eyes.

"So that's why you never drink," Jason mumbled, more to himself than to the others, although Hercules and Pythagoras did tense up at his words. Then, with more force, "Why didn't you tell us that alcoholic drinks make you remember your father's abuse?"

"You hadn't known _anything_ about the abuse," Pythagoras said sharply, though his voice nearly broke at the last word, "and I wanted to keep it that way. Besides… it's, it's not the beverage. Just… just drunk people."

A strange, thin moan came from Hercules' direction, and as Jason turned to him, he saw that the man suddenly lost all the blood from his face. He stared at Pythagoras with mouth hanging, eyes widening in dread and realisation.

Pythagoras has seen it, too. Biting on his lower lip, he lowered his gaze again and mumbled slowly, "I'm not scared or anything, so don't fret. It's not like I have flashbacks every time I saw a pissed guy. It's just… making me uncomfortable, all right? The slurring speech. The winey breath. The wobbling. It's… too familiar, it puts me on the edge."

Hercules closed his mouth, but made a face so pained that the sight of it gripped at Jason's heart with surprising force. He had no doubt that right now probably tens - or even hundreds - of memories were flashing through Hercules' eyes, in all of which he'd been slightly or heavily drunk in Pythagoras' company, never once realising that it was making his friend feel terrible.

"It's not that bad, Hercules," Pythagoras insisted, taking a step toward his old friend when he took in just how shocked the man appeared to be. "You never are a violent drunk. You tend to be grumpy, yes, but never violent. You chatter and do stupid things, but I've never been scared of you, okay?"

Hercules gulped and pulled a shamed grimace. "That doesn't mean I haven't unwittingly made you recall the abuse you had to suffer. That doesn't mean you've never been scared in my presence. You just weren't scared _of_ me." He closed his eyes, inhaling loudly through his nose. "All this time, I thought it was just annoying you."

"It _is_ annoying me," Pythagoras muttered quietly. He raised his arm, hesitated, then put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Please, Hercules? I'm sorry, I just… I don't know how to talk about these things."

Abruptly, Hercules' eyes snapped open. "You certainly seem to know how to talk to _him."_

Jason blinked once, twice, as he realised that _yes,_ Hercules was talking about him, and he actually sounded hurt and - if Jason wasn't terribly mistaken - _jealous._ Now that was something he had never expected from Hercules.

It turned out that as far as realisations went, Jason what a bit slow, though, or simply focused on other things, because what caught Pythagoras' attention from all that was an entirely different matter.

"You heard us last night." His voice was completely devoid of emotions, his face on the other hand... Jason new panic when he saw it. Hercules, however, either didn't recognise the expression for what it was, or choose to ignore it.

"I was to take the second watch after you. Believe it or not, I _can_ wake up in the middle of the night when it's needed. But you guys were both up and talking, so I figured I can sleep then. Still, I caught parts of your conversation."

"You heard _me,_ " Pythagoras whispered, dumbstruck.

"Yeah." Hercules was now visibly angry. "You see, you are panicking now because I know. Why are you panicking? Do you think that what you've been through matters to me? That any of that - _any_ \- could change the way I see you? Or you just thought I was so uncompassionate, so egoistic that I would ridicule you? Or say 'man up' and pretend like it wasn't a big deal? Or… or what?!" Desperate, Hercules grabbed the shivering Pythagoras' arms and squeezed. "Please, Pythagoras, explain it to me because I can't understand why you closed me out like this! Haven't I proved to be your friend?"

"You _have."_ Tears were welling up slowly in Pythagoras' eyes, shame and embarrassment flushing his cheeks. Jason suddenly felt like he was imposing, peeping on a scene he had no business to watch, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from them. "You are my best friend. You helped me pull myself together, even if you had no idea about that. But… I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to ever know." He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as if to fight back a sob. "I don't want your pity - I don't want anyone's. It's happened already, it was a long time ago, and I put it all behind me. I honestly never thought it would ever come back again to haunt me."

Hercules stared at him for long, long moments. Then, he pulled the younger man into his arms to give him a strong hug.

"You can be so silly sometimes, kiddo," he muttered, and from the way Pythagoras choked on a breath, Jason suspected that the word held a special meaning in their history. "Keeping silent about your father, I can understand. Mostly. But you should've told me about the drinking. I'd have tried to be more considerate. I hate the idea that you felt bad because of me all this time and never spoke up."

He slowly let go of Pythagoras, who straightened up, if still a bit wobbly, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah… me too."

"Oh god."

Hercules and Pythagoras turned to face Jason like they'd completely forgotten about the fact that he was there, too - which was probably true - Jason however suddenly couldn't think about anything other than a certain foggy memory from the not so distant past.

"Me, too," Jason exclaimed, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "You were left alone with me, and I was ridiculously drunk. I, I never knew… Pythagoras, I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?" the mathematician asked confusedly.

Hercules seemed to recall the incident in an instant, though, because he made a pained grimace and palmed his forehead. "Damnation!"

"What?"

"The bathhouse," Jason said reluctantly, standing from one foot to the other in embarrassment. "I don't remember much from that night, but I know I got so plastered that you had to take me home. I… I've been hoping that I didn't cause you much trouble, but… after what you've told us now, I'm not sure." He dared a glance up, and was mortified to see that all the blood promptly left Pythagoras' face. This fact just fuelled his already growing suspicion, and he swallowed back the groan that wanted to rip itself out of his throat. "Please forgive me if I…. troubled you, or made you uncomfortable, or… I didn't do something, did I? Or…?"

A tremble run over Pythagoras' lower lip, like he was trying to say something but couldn't find the words… and then he _blushed._ A furious shade of red, nothing less.

Jason's mouth dropped open, a terrible feeling creeping up his spine and curling painfully in his stomach. He quickly thought back to the times he got really stoned in London; what was the worst he did? People told him he was a fairly nice drunk - alcohol usually made him chatty, touchy-feely, cheerful. He couldn't recall a time when he'd become violent in any way, but maybe a stronger hug or something could have been enough to trigger Pythagoras' horrible memories…?

He groaned. "Please tell me I didn't -"

"You didn't," Pythagoras cut in firmly, if a little out of breath. Also, Jason didn't like the way his blue eyes were opened wide like he was scared. No, wait a second… Pythagoras _did_ seem scared. And worried.

He surely wouldn't react this way if Jason had done nothing, would he?

"You didn't do anything, I swear," Pythagoras insisted nonetheless, apparently doing his best to maintain eye-contact between them. "I never once happened to be reminded of my father, actually. You blabbered, talking about a… _coffee_ and some Ibu- _Ibuprofessor_ or something, I don't know… and you tripped in your own leg and sent me to the floor, but other than that, nothing. I give you my word. I was far too occupied with my thoughts to have time for a panic fit, alright?"

What he said made sense to Jason (he sort of remembered these things, or at least hearing about them made something click faintly in his mind) and fit perfectly what he knew about himself as a drunk - yet the face Pythagoras was making didn't do much to convince Jason.

 _Why_ was he making that face?

Before he could've asked, however, Pythagoras dropped his gaze and stepped back. "I've cooled off, so I'll just go out and dry myself. Don't take too long you guys, either. We still have half a desert to cross." And with that, he was gone.

Jason looked after him, gaping, for a ridiculously long time before finally turning back to a frowning Hercules. "What was that?"

Hercules just kept looking after Pythagoras, though, and when he abruptly blinked himself back to the present, his frown deepened.

"Hercules?"

Finally, the man turned to look at Jason, and Jason was surprised to see the serious expression on his friend's face - like he was contemplating on what to say.

"What is it? Do you know something?" Jason demanded, now more than a little anxious. "If I did something and he wouldn't tell me about it, I -"

Hercules, however, was already shaking his head. "Nah, keep breathing, lad. You've done nothing."

"Are you sure? I mean, the way he reacte-"

"It's just a thing of his, I tell you! Don't worry." His look suddenly turned much sharper. "Do you think I'd have left you running around if you did something to him?"

Jason shook his head. Worrying his lip with his teeth, he turned his head to the direction of the shore, where he could see Pythagoras pulling up his breeches before lying down under a tree with his chest still naked, probably to get dried up by the sunlight.

"Leave him be for a while," Hercules said when Jason moved to go out of the lake. "It's been hard days for all of us, but especially for him. Let him clear his head."

"I'm worried about him," Jason blurted out. "I had no idea he carried such a deep secret… and with it, so much pain and guilt."

Hercules sighed. "Me, neither. I've often teased him about being a weakling, but I have to admit that he's some tough kid. Looking at him, you wouldn't say he has such a weight in his heart."

"But he's not really tough, is he?" Jason sank deeper into the lake, but the cool water didn't feel good anymore. If anything, it made him shiver. "It's just on the outside. Inside, he's in much pain, and he doesn't know how to let it show. Probably doesn't even want to."

"Yeah." Hercules scratched his jaw (noisily, since he'd grown quite a stubble in the past few days), then suddenly dropped down, disappearing under the water. When he emerged a few minutes later, he shook his head wildly, sending cool droplets of water fly everywhere. He groaned, then, and wiped at his eyes with a motion that looked like he was extremely tired.

"I haven't looked at him like this in _years_ ," he murmured, glancing at Jason from the corner of his eye. "He has been a dear friend to me in all of our acquaintance, and since he's grown up, I've reckoned him an equal. I mean, he's so brilliant; in a lot of ways, he's got far more wit and sense than I, and that made me forget about our age difference, you know? But now that I'm reminded to just how young and vulnerable he is, all I see in my mind's eye is the awkward, gawky kid who was so lost and reserved when I met him."

Hercules turned toward the shore where Pythagoras' lying form could be seen faintly under the bright green canopy. His eyes looked far - much further than the actual sight -, and Jason was momentarily surprised to recognise the same gentle affection that so far the man had reserved only for Medusa.

"He's matured a lot since then, but in many ways, he's still the same," Hercules said quietly. "Turns out I've forgotten about that."

"You know," Jason started, following his friend's gaze to the shore, "I get that you're friends, but… in some ways, you're like a second father to him, aren't you?"

"An uncle, more likely. A fat, nosy uncle who gets pissed around him regularly, never realising that it's just making the brat recall how his real father had abused him drunkenly. Perfect, wouldn't you say?" Sighing, Hercules tore his eyes away from the faraway man and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wish he'd told me. I won't say I wouldn't have drunk, but I'd have at least been careful not to put him through it."

"He knows that. Hercules, I haven't known you guys for long, but I'm sure you must have been some sort of a protector to him while he settled down in Atlantis, and has been his closest friend since. I think that's exactly the reason why he didn't want to tell you about his past: he didn't want you to think less of him. Me, I'm fairly new here; Pythagoras could probably let go easier."

Hercules didn't react, but the hard set of his mouth finally eased into a calmer stance. He sighed, splashed water onto his chest again, then grunted once before nodding in the shore's direction. "Let's go out. We've been here for an hour, maybe more, and we still have to make it to the Furies' Cave before the sun sets. We should have a quick lunch, then leave."

Nodding, Jason straightened up and started for outside.

They found Pythagoras snoring softly by their clothes.

"He must have dozed off while drying," Jason mused, watching the faint crinkles on his friend's forehead. Pythagoras didn't seem to be having a nightmare, yet he was not completely relaxed in his sleep. "He didn't sleep a wink all night, after all. Should we wake him?"

After a moment or so, Hercules shook his head and sat down to the ground. "He can sleep for an hour, but we have to hurry after that. If we don't reach the caves before the night falls, we will hardly find shelter in the dark."

Jason left food for the horses, then collected their bag and went back to sit with Hercules beside the sleeping Pythagoras. Pulling out the half loaf of bread they still had, he suddenly remembered the thing that'd been lurking in his mind since last night.

Figuring that Hercules will probably know about it, he casually asked the munching man, "Oh, yes, I wanted to ask you something. What's an erastes?"

Hercules stopped mid-way to another bite. He snapped his eyes to Jason so abruptly that Jason couldn't help but flinch instinctively.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked, wiping at his mouth and eyeing Jason with an odd look on his face.

"No particular reason," Jason answered, wondering about what could've elicited this strange reaction. "Pythagoras mentioned that a past friend of his had an erastes, and I'm not familiar with the word. I got the feeling it's something of a mentor, but I, er, wanted to make sure?"

Hercules kept on staring at Jason - which was admittedly quite unnerving, he realised, fidgeting -, until he either got bored or found what he was looking for. He resumed eating and answered in an off-handed way, "You can say that it's a sort of mentor, yes. A young man, usually, who takes a boy under his wings and educates him in arts, science, bodily pleasures… essentially preparing him for the adult men's life."

"Oh." Jason blinked three, four times, mouth suddenly dry as the desert itself. "You mean like… uh, in those murals we saw at the bathhouse?"

"That's part of it, yes."

And Jason's brain promptly decided to short-circuit.

Because it was one thing to know that homosexuality was mostly okay in Ancient Greece… and, apparently, in Atlantis as well. Frankly, it wasn't exactly uncommon in modern London, either.

But _this_ \- this was concerning Pythagoras. Brilliant, wonderful Pythagoras, who had been good friends with a boy who, at the time, was an older man's lover-of-sorts. And that wouldn't have bothered Jason, because he had absolutely no business with it, he knew that, except… what was it that Pythagoras had said last night? That he and that boy - Naos - had become close, especially after Pythagoras turned thirteen?

Close. They had become _close._

Had Pythagoras meant it the way Jason was starting to suspect? Like, _close_ close? As close as two men can physically get?

Recalling the way Pythagoras had looked when talking about his friendship with Naos and the loneliness he felt after the boy had left him, Jason had to conclude that yes, Pythagoras had probably meant it _exactly_ that way.

But he was _thirteen_ , for god's sake!

"You're not eating, Jason? If you don't want it, I'd be more than happy to take it from you!"

Jason blinked, slowly coming back to himself to realise that he'd been staring at the slice of bread he held in his hand for what must have been at least a good couple of minutes. Flushing slightly, he shook his head and bit into the food. Despite liking it just fine this morning, now the portion seemed to leave an awful taste on his tongue, and as he gulped it down, it felt like scratching his throat along from the inside.

He didn't dare to steal a glance at the sleeping Pythagoras, for he knew that his cheeks were heated up more than enough already. What he didn't understand was the rapid rhythm his heart was beating against his ribs with. It wasn't like he had any particular business as to what Pythagoras was doing in his free time. Or any time at all. Never mind to whom he did it. Or by whom he got it done. Or… whatever.

Jason forced another bite down, suppressing the urge to rub at his eyes.

 _Christ._ The unexpected revelations about Pythagoras that came to light in these past few days were starting to get a tad bit too much.

Jason did risk a glance at his sleeping friend in the end, but as soon as his eyes fell to the slightly opened mouth, he tore his gaze away as if the sight had burnt his retina. Realising that Hercules was watching him closely, he couldn't help but blush hotly again.

Oh, damn it all to hell. It wasn't just a "tad bit" too much - Jason was completely _overwhelmed._

* * *

 

Everything was hidden by thick darkness by the time they reached the Furies' Cave, but they were thankful they'd even managed to find it. Jason was worried that Pythagoras might feel uncomfortable in the place where his brother had called for the revengeful goddesses, but the man showed no sign of it outside what was probably normal. He even surprised his friends by announcing that he was going to visit the altar and pray for his father's soul.

"It's the least I can do. Actually, I should've done this a long time ago," he said.

He didn't take long. No more than twenty minutes later, he came back and sat down between Hercules and Jason. They didn't ask for details, and he seemed grateful for it.

Agreeing on that Hercules was to take the first watch (since out of the three of them, he was the one who had slept the most the previous night), Jason and Pythagoras lay down close to the small fire they'd set and tried resting.

Even with his short afternoon nap, Pythagoras fell into dreams easily; sleep however seemed to avoid Jason for a long time.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about what he'd just learnt about Pythagoras. Now he recognised the strange expression Pythagoras had made as he talked about Naos and Naos' erastes for what it was - worry. He was searching for signs that Jason would show revulsion and distaste about the idea of two men being together in this way. Had Jason done that, Pythagoras probably wouldn't have mentioned that side of his relationship with Naos at all.

Good thing that Jason had no idea about what the word meant that time.

What bothered Jason the most was that he didn't understand _why_ this whole revelation was bothering him. A pretty paradox, wasn't it? It was not like it mattered. For one thing, it happened in the past, and even if Pythagoras was actively looking for men's company in the present as well, it wasn't Jason's business. Pythagoras was a good man - a great man - and a fantastic, reliable friend. Also, Jason would be lying if he said he never found the mathematician adorable. If he looked deeply enough into himself, he'd admit that he came to this conclusion fairly often.

Maybe he was so bothered only because he wasn't expecting this? Or because it came so out of the blue?

He couldn't help but remember that he, too, has kissed men since he'd arrived at Atlantis. Once with Hercules - _eww_ ; Jason shuddered at the memory - and once with Pythagoras.

That, actually, wasn't nearly as unpleasant as the wet, sloppy smooch Hercules had planted on his mouth. The dry, gentle touch of soft lips was, in truth, quite nice. Now that Jason thought about it, it was very much like the sudden but oh-so-sweet kiss that Ariadne surprised him with.

The image of the princess suddenly appeared before his mind's eye, and Jason realised with a bit of guilt that she hadn't occupied his thoughts at all since they'd left Atlantis. He was used to not seeing her often, with her being the King's daughter and all, but he usually spent more time musing about her then he'd cared to admit. He wasn't exactly stupid, he knew that his massive crush on her was absolutely hopeless, and yet… he was drawn to her like thirsty man to a lake. And now he knew for a fact that he wasn't alone with these feelings.

Thinking about Ariadne somehow made him calm down. Finally closing his eyes, he let himself sleep.

 

* * *

 

He awoke to Hercules' strong hand shaking his shoulder.

"Jason," the man whispered insistently, voice creeping into Jason's thick, dreamless sleep. "Hey, get up. We agreed that you'd be taking over from me, remember?"

 _Go away, I don't remember ever agreeing to that_ , Jason wanted to say, but he had a feeling it came out in grunting Klingon instead.

Hercules, however, proved to be annoyingly persistent. Not only did he not go away, but bent down to mutter directly into Jason's face, "You yourself said that we should let Pythagoras sleep. But if you've changed your mind, I just go and wake him instead…"

Ooh, this was _low._

"'mmup arready," Jason slurred, trying to will his foggy brain into functioning. Scrubbing the side of his hands over his eyes, he pushed himself up into sitting position and leant his back against the cool surface of the rock wall. "'m up, 'kay? Gimme some water, please."

The cool drink really did help him wake properly. He gulped hungrily before putting the flask aside, scrubbed across his eyes one more time and let out a final yawn.

Right then, a small whimper came from Pythagoras' direction. Jason snapped his gaze to the sleeping man instantly; Hercules however just shook his head sadly. "He's having a restless sleep. He's been tossing and turning for hours, but hasn't yet woke once."

"With the events of the last couple of days, it's hardly a surprise," Jason mused quietly. "It's going to take some time till he goes back to the way he was before we left for Helios."

"If he does at all," Hercules added in a low tone.

They watched Pythagoras in silence for some moments before Hercules - finally convinced that Jason wasn't going to doze back - lied down and fell asleep within minutes.

Jason stretched his members out, stood up, put some more wood into their fire and, settling down beside the treasure chest, prepared himself for the night watch. Nothing had happened in the past few days, but this was most dangerous area of the desert (at least according to Hercules) and they didn't want to risk getting ambushed - especially now, that there were only three of them.

But the night proved to be a quiet one. Jason was in alert-mode, but relaxed slightly after the first one and a half hour. The moon was still high in the sky, and only the warm light of the fire cut through the immense darkness of the night. Jason kept himself awake by humming different melodies under his breath (even popular hits from his time in London, how ridiculous that was?), remembering the noise of the city, the sound of public transport, the smell of exhaust fumes from the busy roads (and was surprised to discover that it was getting harder and harder to recall these things), or simply musing about the many incredible things he'd experienced since he'd got washed up on the shore of Atlantis.

Sometimes, everything that'd happened before that felt like an entirely different life.

More often than not, though, his thoughts returned to Pythagoras and everything Jason had learnt about him since they've started on this travel. Now, hours after the latest revelation, he felt that his reaction to his friends' apparent orientation was way too excessive. It didn't change anything about Pythagoras, after all, and if Jason saw him differently because of that, he would be just like the father he'd come to despise so fiercely.

Pythagoras was perfect the way he was, and he deserved love and care for being himself. And Jason loved him just fine. Maybe not the way Pythagoras needed love someday, but with genuine affection and true friendship.

Probably that was the reason as to why Jason couldn't keep away from Pythagoras when the man started whimpering again later, sobbing quietly into his own arm.

Jason was there beside him in an instant, worrying his lip as he watched Pythagoras wrinkle his forehead as if in pain, soundless pleas falling from his mouth. Jason put his hand on a trembling shoulder and stroked soothing lines onto it, but pulled his back when it just made Pythagoras flinch.

"No, stop it… please, Father, stop it," he mumbled in a thin voice, face twisting into a horrified expression, causing a cold shiver to run through Jason. "It hurts! Please…"

Jason never felt such a blind rage toward someone who he'd never even met. He wanted to murder this person, and his mind didn't care that he was already dead.

"Pythagoras," he urged quietly, touching the man again. "Wake up, it's alright. Nobody's hurting you."

The blond lashes were wet and stuck together, heavy pearls of liquid shining and trembling on them. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry -" His voice broke, choking on a wet sob. "Please don't hurt me. Please, don't hurt her, I beg you, please -"

"Pythagoras, wake up! Wake up, you hear me? Wake up!"

Jason couldn't bear the terror that soaked through his friend's pleas for any longer: he grabbed the man's arms and shook him firmly, trying to tear him out of his nightmare. "Pythagoras!"

Finally, Pythagoras shouted himself awake with a last terrified ' _No!_ '. His eyes snapped open but he clearly didn't know where he was - his breath hitched, he heaved, and tried to shake off Jason's hands like he was expecting physical violence.

"Let me go! Let me go!" he cried, throwing his head back. "Let m-"

He groaned when Jason let go of his arms so he could press his left hand against Pythagoras' mouth instead, other hand coming up to the young man's cheek and forcing him to meet Jason's eye. The blue orbs were wide and unfocused, tears streaming freely from them.

"It's me," Jason whispered, never moving his gaze from Pythagoras'. "You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you, I promise."

Pythagoras' mouth was trembling against Jason's hand, hot breath making his palm moist and warm. Jason stroked his cheek soothingly with his other hand, fingers curling into the blond hair and thumb coming to rest just under his left ear.

"You're safe, and you're with friends, okay? Take a deep breath, and hold it for a moment, it'll help." Slowly, he released Pythagoras.

The man gasped again and again, gulping down on the air like he was on the verge of dying from thirst. Reaching up, he grasped Jason's withdrawing hand, not letting it go, as if he needed that to anchor himself to reality. He blinked, and his cloudy gaze finally fixed on Jason, leaving the worst of his nightmare behind.

Gasping again, Pythagoras pulled Jason's hand back, pressed his sweaty forehead down onto it and groaned. "Fuck."

Hearing Pythagoras swear was so strange and out of character that the sound of it nearly knocked the air out of Jason's lungs. He watched his friend with worry, noting on the ghostly paleness of his face, the constant trembling of his lips, the rapid tempo his chest rose and fell with. When Pythagoras finally raised his head, his eyes were puffy and red.

"You alright?" Jason asked softly, once again stroking over the wet cheek with his thumb.

Pythagoras' eyes fluttered close as he leant into the touch, inhaling deeply. His lips moved but halted on the half-formed "yes", and after that, he just shook his head.

"Flashbacks," he explained quietly. Jason was shocked by how raspy his voice had become. "Hadn't had them in years."

"You can't help it. After recent events, it was bound to happen." He sat down in front of Pythagoras, searching his face for signs of lingering fear. There weren't any, though he was still clearly distressed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Besides… you already know everything. This wasn't any different."

As if he had just realised that he was clutching at Jason's hand, Pythagoras blushed a pretty shade of red. Letting go of Jason, he pulled his legs up in front of himself and leant against the wall. After a moment of contemplation, Jason moved to sit beside him with their shoulders touching, hoping that their closeness would help Pythagoras relax.

"If it makes you feel better," he started quietly, gazing absently in front of himself, "I'm not unfamiliar with nightmares, either. After Dad disappeared, I often found myself struggling with bad dreams. I guess, if you once develop a habit of dealing with your fears and worries through nightmares, it's kind of difficult to leave them behind… whether you want to or not."

"But I'm not a child anymore," Pythagoras muttered, eyes fixed stubbornly on the ground. "I shouldn't be crying myself awake from nightmares in my age."

"You may not be a child, but you are still young. Also, I don't think age has anything to do with it. Why, just recently I had a fairly unpleasant dream, too." Pythagoras seemed to raise his head slightly at that, so Jason elaborated with a shrug, "The night before I had to fight Heptarian during the Pancration. I don't remember much of it, but I know it was pretty bad. I woke at the middle of the night, panting, sweating, and had the feeling that the blasted knife had just been stabbed into my heart. I couldn't really rest after that, so I'm still amazed that the fight went the way it did."

"You fought very well," Pythagoras said, playing absently with the hem of his tunic. "I've never seen anyone who stood a chance against Heptarian, but you were a real match for him. Seeing what you've achieved after such a short time of training, I'm convinced you'd be unbeatable if you put your mind into it."

"Thanks. I… well, I had a good reason to do my best. I couldn't let Ariadne down, after all, even if she never expected me to succeed. I just… couldn't bear the thought that she'd be forced to marry someone she doesn't love. Especially someone as cruel and egoistic as Heptarian."

Suddenly, as if the fire had just gone out, the air felt much cooler than the moment before. Jason frowned, not understanding or liking the strange feeling one bit. Pythagoras looked down at the ground and murmured, "You really do love her, don't you?"

"I… I feel drawn to her," Jason admitted, a light flush heating up his face. "She's the most beautiful, kind and compassionate woman I've ever met. I… I know it's crazy, because I haven't known her for long _at all_ , but still, I always feel giddy and breathless whenever she's around me. There's been an… attraction, right from the first second, even though I was not aware of it immediately, and I like to think that she's feeling it, too. This whole thing doesn't make any sense, yet it just… happens, you know?"

The following silence was surprisingly long and, frankly, unnerving. After a couple of moments, Jason looked down at Pythagoras, sort of anticipating that the man had dozed back off, but his friend was wide awake. Noticing Jason's side-glance, he averted his eyes and made a really strange expression as he opened his mouth. "Yeah… I know."

Jason frowned. He had the oddest feeling that he'd just touched a sour point, a nerve, said something really insensitive… but hadn't the faintest idea as to what that was. Pythagoras didn't leave him much time to wonder, either - he mimed a big yawn, and then looked up at Jason. Sort of. His gaze didn't exactly reach Jason's eyes.

"I'll try going back to sleep" he murmured, reaching for his blanket and pulling it higher up on himself. "I'm fine now, so you can go back if you want."

The sudden change of mood was more alerting than the casual way with which he'd tried sending Jason off. Not knowing what to do but instinctively knowing that he shouldn't leave Pythagoras alone like this, Jason turned to face his friend. "Do you mind if I stay here?"

Though he apparently did his best to appear nonchalant, it didn't escape Jason's notice how Pythagoras' eyes widened in alarm - even though he tried to mask it with a frown. "I already said that I'm fine."

"Yeah. And you're warm. It's quite nice, not shivering from cold for a change."

He knew this was going to work. In an instant, Pythagoras' eyes softened.

"… Fine," he said after a moment, lying back against Jason. "But don't complain if I snore."

"You never snore," Jason said, grinning. "Just mumble about geometry. I don't believe I've ever met someone before who regularly had wet dreams about triangles, you know."

"Oh, shut up!"

Chuckling to himself, Jason lied back against the wall and stared absently at the fire, a soft smile pulling up his lips when Pythagoras' breathing slowly eased into gentle puffs against side.

 

* * *

 

"Home, sweet home!"

As soon the door flung open, Hercules marched into the room with arms opened in a wide gesture, as if trying to embrace the entire place to himself. Not paying any attention to Jason, of course, who was struggling with the weight of the treasure chest all by himself.

"It's so good to be back here! I missed everything! Yes, pretty, comfortable chair, you the most!" With that, he threw himself at his chair at the desk and lied back with the ease of someone who'd done his work for the day.

"Oh, don't mind us, we're fine!" Pythagoras shouted from the door, hands full with their bags. "You just sit there and rest!"

"I was planning on that, but thank you nevertheless," Hercules answered unabashedly. "Oh, it's so damn good to be back home. I had enough of deserts for _years."_

With that sentiment, Jason could agree whole-heartedly. The last part of their travel was spent struggling with a temperature even hotter than the day before, and now they hadn't had the oasis to freshen them up a bit. They started on quite early - it was still dark when they've left the Furies' Cave -, yet it took long, _long_ hours of monotonous riding till they finally got the first glimpse of Atlantis an hour or so after midday.

Now that they were finally home, exhaustion kicked in with full force. Jason felt like his skin was peeling off, even though he didn't take of his tunic to avoid getting sunburnt. He itched everywhere from dried sweat, and the pleasant effect of the lake-bathing from the day before had all but disappeared.

Hercules seemed to be having similar feelings, yet they let Pythagoras took the first turn with the sponge and the basin. Hercules got hungry and started eating then, which Jason quickly took advantage of and - after Pythagoras went to get dressed - cleaned himself the best he could. At times like this, he longed for the civilised shower from his flat in London, though he would have been more than happy to swap that for an afternoon at an Atlantian bathhouse. He contemplated suggesting that they head to a bathhouse, but quickly disposed of the idea. The price of that was quite hard, and right now neither of them had the money for that - especially since they've gained absolutely nothing from this trip to Helios. Almost a week's worth of guarding a treasure box, and for what? _Nothing._

 _Well. Philemon certainly wouldn't say that_ , Jason mused, smiling.

"We have to take back the chest," he said loudly as soon as he went back to the living room, now clad in fresh clothes. "The sooner, the better. I suppose Medios is expecting us by now."

"Oh no," Hercules said, groaning. "He's going to be furious. We let his son run off with a _thief_ , after all! Just wait, he'll cut our fingers down after all. Or maybe not just our fingers."

"He doesn't have to know she _was_ a thief," Jason stressed. "We can just tell him that Philemon met a beautiful girl and decided to… er, eloped with her…"

"Yeah. Brilliant. I'm sure he'll understand if we tell him that!"

"Oh, come on!" Jason grabbed his friend's shoulder and urged him up from the chair. "The sooner we get it done, the sooner you can go back to filling your stomach."

Hercules didn't look amused. In fact, his eyes were stabbing invisible daggers at Jason. "Ha-ha, very funny."

Pythagoras chose this moment to re-enter from his room. "What's so funny?"

"I'm just encouraging our friend here to be a brave man and come face Medio-" Catching glance of Pythagoras, Jason cut himself off and raised his brows in surprise. "Are you going somewhere?"

Pythagoras has changed into a fresh sand-coloured tunic, and though his hair was still wet, it wasn't so dishevelled as an hour ago - but it was the travelling coat around his shoulders that caught Jason's eye.

"Yes," Pythagoras walked to the table, poured himself a cup of water and raised it to his lips. "I want to go back to the Oracle. Can you two handle Medios?"

"Wait, what?" Jason promptly let go of Hercules (who fall back to his chair and nearly landed on the floor - not that Jason paid any attention to him) and stared at Pythagoras like the man had just voiced his desire to go to the Moon. "You've been to the Oracle? When?"

"The morning before we left for Helios," Pythagoras replied with slight puzzlement. "Why?"

"Nothing, just…" Just. Even though Jason was perfectly aware that the Oracle provided guidance to everyone who was in need of Poseidon's help, it still caught him by surprise that Pythagoras went to visit her.

Which was utter rubbish, because Pythagoras had been living in Atlantis for five or six years - for all Jason knew, he could've visited the Oracle numerous times. Jason had absolutely no idea as to where this strange and unreasonable possessive-kind-of-thing came from, but he'd always had the feeling that he shared a unique bond with the Oracle. She was the only one who knew the truth about him, even the truths she was not willing to share with Jason as of yet… and knowing this, picturing her giving some cryptic warning to Pythagoras seemed almost surreal.

Absolute madness, he knew it. Atlantians probably visited her all the time. There was no reason for him to get stuck on this.

And yet… And yet.

"Did she tell you beforehand about what would happen?" he found himself asking, but cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn't need Hercules' disapproving grunt to know that he'd asked something really insensitive. Whatever Pythagoras had talked about with the Oracle, it was their business alone.

Pythagoras, however, didn't seem to be particularly bothered by Jason's prying.

"Not… exactly. I asked him if we're going to cross the desert safely, to which she replied that I was to embark on a voyage of the soul, and that I had good reason to be concerned." He let out a small, joyless laugh. "I guess she told me everything I needed to know, I just didn't understand it back then."

"She does that," Jason agreed with a nod. He was curious about what his friend wanted to ask the Oracle this time, but knew better than to ask. He didn't have anything to do with it, after all. "Well then, have a nice chat with her till Hercules and I get the situation sorted out with Medios."

Behind his back, Hercules groaned out lout. "Not this again. I fancy keeping my fingers where they happen to be now, you know?"

"Come on, you big coward!" Jason grabbed the chest and took it up, raising his eyes at Hercules. "You don't want me to ask Medusa instead, do you? I bet she'd be disappointed in you if I told her that -"

" _Fine!_ " Hercules pulled a grimace, but finally stood up and started for the door. "Fine. But don't tell me I haven't warned you."

Shaking his head in amusement, Pythagoras stepped behind Jason as they all walked out of the house to the staircase leading down to the street. Once there, Pythagoras patted Jason's shoulder before turning and leaving the other direction.

As Hercules and Jason went along the street to Medios' residence, Hercules mumbling about ideas about the excuses they should come up with, Jason once again wondered about what Pythagoras and the Oracle might talk about.

Whatever it was, he sincerely hoped that it would ease his friend's soul and lift some of the hard weight he'd carried within his heart.

 

* * *

 

Medios was certainly not impressed with them, but after Jason stressed out just how much of a risk they had taken by bringing the cargo back to Atlantis with only the three of them around, the sour-faced man let them go with all their members intact.

Pythagoras was not yet home when they're arrived back, and was out for at least another hour. When he did come back, though, his face was slightly less perturbed than before, and as soon as he caught sight of his friends, he flashed them an easy smile. "Still in possession of your fingers, I see?"

"It's all thanks to me," Hercules grunted from behind his cup. "My quick thinking, heart-stirring speech and sheer stance were what allowed us to escape with -"

Pythagoras laughed, and that made even Hercules shut up.

The sun was starting to set by then, so they had dinner in easy atmosphere, sharing meaningless banter and unfunny jokes during their meal. Jason could see on Hercules that he was itching to go out for a drink, and if _he_ could notice that, then no doubt Pythagoras was aware of it, too… but Hercules made no mention of it, so they didn't either. Jason was grateful; even though he had no doubts that the bulky man first walk tomorrow will lead to a tavern, he seemed determined not to do it in front of Pythagoras anymore.

Blowing off the candles, they soon retired for the night.

After spending half of the past couple of nights awake, sleep came easily for Jason this time. His head barely touched the pillow and he was already knocked out completely.

In his dream, Jason was back in London, taking a taxi. No matter how hard he squinted, he couldn't see who was sitting at the driver seat, or if there was anyone at all. After a while, though, the car starting shaking badly, and within moments, it crashed and tipped down from a bridge, falling into the Thames. Jason cried out in fear, shouted, drummed his fists against the windows, but the taxi sanked deeper and deeper...

He was sure he'd drown, but when he next opened his eyes, he was in Atlantis. Sitting stark naked on the shore surrounding the city, Jason wiped the dripping water out of his eyes and glanced up at the familiar figure a few metres in front of him.

Pythagoras was standing knee-deep in the ocean with his back to Jason, furiously scrubbing something in the water. Jason called out to him, relieved, but his friend didn't seem to hear him.

Jason stood up and crossed the short distance between them, ignoring the sharp pain that blazed in his bare feet from the searing hotness of the sand. As he got closer, the constant muttering of Pythagoras suddenly hit his ears.

"It won't disappear, why it won't disappear, please, someone make it disappear..."

"What's wrong?" Jason asked when he finally reached him, but the man either didn't hear him or choose to ignore the question.

Jason could now see that the mathematician was washing his hands. Although they seemed perfectly clear to him, Pythagoras apparently didn't share his views.

"I can't bear it anymore, why does there have to be so much blood, blood everywhere and I can't wipe it away, someone please do something, make it disappear, I can't..." Choking on air, Pythagoras fell to his knees and started sobbing miserably. "I can't anymore…"

The sight of Pythagoras being so broken pulled hard at something in Jason's heart - the entire expanse of his chest started aching with a burn he could not name. The pain, however, was enough to startle him awake.

Breathing heavily, Jason stared at the dark ceiling without really seeing it as cold shivers run along his spine, heart drumming madly against his aching ribs. He couldn't get over the pitiful sobs of the dream that seemed to burn into his mind; he could close his eyes and push the faint memories of his dream back, yet he couldn't stop himself from hearing Pythagoras' weeping and whimpering in his ears as loudly as if he was still -

Jason froze. Not daring to draw even a breath, he listened... And yes, there it was: the muffled, choked sounds of crying he'd become so uncomfortably familiar with in the past few days.

He sat up and blinked a couple of times to get his eyes used to the darkness. With the moon shining into the house through the window, he could make out Pythagoras' shivering form in the other room. The man was weeping and shuddering while he murmured the same things he'd said in Jason's dream. "Make it go away, please make it disappear..." One didn't have to be a genius to realise that he must have been having a nightmare - a _flashback_ \- about killing his father.

Jason glanced toward Hercules' room, but the door was closed. No wonder that only Jason woke up to the noise, then. He practically had no room of his own, after all, for his bed was at the corner of the living room. He had a clear sight to Pythagoras' sleeping form.

His instincts were telling him to get up and march to his friend right away, but he hesitated for a second, not sure if he should wake Pythagoras up or not. The man was probably embarrassed enough already, and having Jason baby him like he was a child probably wouldn't help that. On the other hand, Jason couldn't with good conscience let him struggle in the clutches of his nightmare, especially if they involved the worst memories of his life.

The next scared whimper then decided for him. Hearing the broken sobs and scarcely rasped out pleas, Jason found himself crossing the room to his friend's bed with rapid steps. Once there, he lighted a single candle on the night desk, then bent down and gently touched his friend's shoulder.

"Pythagoras." The man flinched violently at the sound of his name, going rigid under the tussled blankets but not reacting in any other way. "Pythagoras, you need to wake up."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want this, I swear, I didn't want this to happen!" He was crying openly now, shining far tears bubbling out from under his lashes and falling down, leaving dark, wet stains on the sheets. "Make the blood disappear, I beg you, please ma-"

"Pythagoras!"

Laying gentleness aside, Jason shook Pythagoras like he did the last time. His heart was beating like crazy, and he couldn't bear seeing his friend in this state for one more second. Pythagoras was a wreck, and the sight was so awful it made Jason want to weep.

And he was angry… no, _furious_ at himself. At Hercules.

Because how could they have not known this? How could they have missed the signs that Pythagoras was carrying so much pain buried deep inside himself?

He shook the man one more time, and finally, the blue eyes startled open. Pythagoras rose in the bad with rapid speed, staring at Jason like he was seeing a ghost; his pupils were blown wide, pale irises glowing eerily in the dark. After a few moments of dead silence, he looked down at his trembling, snow white hands… and then abruptly pulled them into fists, groaning.

"Why?" he croaked, face twisting in pain. "Why do I keep having these dreams? I was through this before, I got better, so why…?"

Jason sat down onto the bed beside him and curled his arm around Pythagoras instinctively, pulling the trembling man closer to himself. "It's not your fault. This isn't happening because you're weak or anything like that. You just… you were triggered. Old wounds have been torn open; it's natural that they are bleeding again. It will pass."

"How can you know?"

Pythagoras wasn't looking at him. He tried to hid his face, burying it into his own shoulder, like he was ashamed of being caught struggling with a nightmare. Now that he thought about it, Jason had a suspicion that if Pythagoras' father ever had a talk with his son about nightmares, it must have not gone well. He could just imagine what the bastard might have said about the "kind of people" who struggled with them.

He didn't even notice that he'd started squeezing Pythagoras tighter.

"I know you're incredibly strong - much stronger than you look. You have amazing power in your soul, and that will heal you. No one can convince me otherwise. It just takes time, that's all."

Pythagoras drew a shaky intake of breath, hold it for long moments, then slowly let it go. When he next spoke, his voice was a bit stronger, if still quite breathless. "She told me you'd help," he whispered, turning his head slightly towards Jason, though not really meeting his eyes. "The Oracle. She told me you'd help me heal if… if I let you."

"Damn right I will," Jason said, now with a smile. "So let me."

Warmth bloomed in his shoulder when Pythagoras leaned to rest his head against it, and the feeling then spread out into every direction inside his body, sending lazy waves of pleasure through every tired member. The blood in his veins was growing more heated, making Jason feel nice and pleased under the layer of lingering worry for his friend.

"We can't keep doing this," Pythagoras murmured after a while, popping a hole into Jason's strange bubble of contentment. " _You_ can't keep doing this. I'm an adult, and I can't have you nurse me whenever I have a bad dream."

"These are not just 'bad dreams', and it's not 'nursing'. It's offering comfort and company for someone who needs both." Jason let his head tilt to the side till it met the mop of blond hair halfway. "Also, you aren't bothering me at all, so stop being embarrassed. It's fine."

The sigh that left Pythagoras felt oddly sorrowful for the situation they were currently in. Frowning, Jason looked down at his friend and was surprised to meet the bright blue eyes instantly. Pythagoras hadn't really met Jason's gaze squarely since he waked him up, and now that he did, there was a deep, unfathomable expression in his look that Jason, however hard he might've tried, couldn't puzzle out.

"I could make you change your mind," Pythagoras whispered on a low breath, sad eyes never leaving Jason's. "I could make you go away."

"What are you talking about?"

A vulnerable flash passed through Pythagoras' face, his eyes flickered down to Jason's mouth… and Jason's heart promptly decided to miss a beat.

A second later Pythagoras averted his eyes and turned his head away, pulling the blankets up and throwing them around his shoulders, but Jason could hardly sense what his friend was doing because… surely, he hadn't seen it right? Surely, he must have imagined it? It all happened so quickly, though, it probably wasn't anything intentional at all. Yeah, that must have been it. Yeah.

"Nothing," Pythagoras answered finally, oblivious to Jason's sudden conflict. "I'm just tired. I guess I should give sleeping another go."

"Do you want me to stay?"

Pythagoras looked up at him with the shock Jason felt himself. Trying to will the blush to stay the hell away from his cheeks, Jason shrugged and elaborated, "You seemed to be sleeping well last night after you weren't alone, and I figured having someone close might help with your dream. But if you wouldn't like that, just forget I said anything. I'm… I'll be close anyway if you need something. Anything. Or, you know, so…" Damn his stupid mouth! Why must he always babble like an idiot when he's embarrassed?

His self-depriving came to an abrupt halt, though, when a light smile pulled Pythagoras' lips up at his fumbling. "That… actually doesn't sound bad at all. If, of course, you're sure it's not bothering you?"

Jason saw how important this question was to Pythagoras, so he let the genuine joy he felt upon having Pythagoras lean on him in such matters show on his face in the form of an easy grin. "Of course not."

The bed wasn't wide at all, but they could lie down next to each other. Pythagoras was lying on his stomach facing Jason while Jason himself was on his back, gazing absently at the ceiling. When he felt the gentle pressure of warm fingers on his bare arm, he looked down at the curly mop of hair beside him.

He couldn't make out much of Pythagoras' face, and the tale-telling eyes were closed, but somehow he still knew that his friend was smiling. "Thank you."

Once again, the warmth coiled and spread inside Jason's chest. "Anytime."

 

* * *

 

Jason waked slowly this time, coming back to consciousness with languid ease. After his mind came out of the thick heaviness of sleep, he became aware of the sound of birds chirping nearby, sun shining onto his face, people being noisy on the streets as they passed under their window. He opened his eyes with a slow motion, blinking idly a couple of times till he got used to the sudden brightness.

The room was cheerfully lit… and that was what thrown Jason off the hook for a couple of moments. He didn't have a room, after all, so why was he inside one? But then he remembered coming to Pythagoras' aid last night, and with that, he eased back into the relaxed state in which he woke.

Said mathematician was still sleeping beside him, face lax, mouth slightly open, brows smoothed out… it didn't seem like anything was disturbing his dream, and Jason was surprisingly happy with himself for this.

As he shifted to move his members that'd got faintly stiff during the night, he came to another unexpected realisation - namely, that his arms and legs weren't the only parts of his body that'd gotten stiff. Embarrassed beyond words, he pushed himself up into sitting position, careful not to wake Pythagoras up, and then tried to rearrange his erection so that it wasn't tenting his breeches so obviously.

Getting a morning wood was certainly nothing new or unusual (he hadn't got to relieve himself but with his right hand ever since he'd arrived at Atlantis, after all, and there were limits to how many times a bloke could wank undetected in a house of three men, especially if you were the one without a room and, thus, privacy), and he usually dealt with it on the spot, but doing it in Pythagoras' bed with Pythagoras himself snoring softly beside him was definitely not an option.

(Well, it wasn't like he hadn't done it once in this bed - Jason's cheek flared heatedly from embarrassment at the memory -, but he was fairly drunk that time, and the mathematician was nowhere near. So, no way in hell, that is.)

He threw his legs onto the floor and pushed himself up, freezing in his motion when the bed creaked and Pythagoras murmured something under his breath. Not wanting to get caught in this state in the case his friend was waking up, Jason quickly tip-toed out of the room and went to do his morning routines.

Not much later, he deemed himself fit to be in company again. He poured himself some water in the kitchen and drank while inspecting their little array of food, pulling a face. Even if they hadn't gotten a penny out of their hard journey to Helios and back, they had to go down to the market to buy food because their shelves were looking pathetically miserable. Jason knew that Pythagoras had some emergency money hidden away somewhere, he just hoped that it survived Hercules and Arcas' gambling party.

Muffled grunts and more bed creaking came from the direction of Pythagoras' room, and Jason suppressed the sudden urge to dash back to his friend and see that he was feeling alright. Instead, he walked quietly there, glancing into the room from a spot where he could see in but he couldn't be seen. He knew it by now that Pythagoras had a tendency to smile and act like nothing was wrong when he felt inspected.

The man was up, all right, stretching out on the bed and kicking the blankets off with his legs in the process. He yawned and scratched his blond disarray of a hair, then turned to his side and stared at the spot on the bed where Jason lay at night, probably wondering about when he'd gone off.

Jason was about to step inside and greet the man, possibly ask him whether he wanted to accompany Jason to the marketplace… but froze on the spot when he saw Pythagoras raise his hand to the pillow where Jason's head had rested before, stroking his long fingers over the wrinkled linen with the softness of a butterfly's fluttering wings, as if chasing the warmth that must have soaked through it. Jason watched, gulping, as Pythagoras sucked in his lower lip, hesitating for a second before lying down again and burying his face onto said pillow, inhaling deeply.

Holding his breath, Jason slowly backed off, staggering into the kitchen and out of sight. He didn't stop until his back hit a wall, and even then he just stared absently in front of himself for long moments before he finally exhaled.

And it just came crashing into him.

Oh, god. He wasn't imagining things last night. Pythagoras _had_ been staring at him mouth. When he said he could make Jason go away… _God._

And the night before? When he made that strange expression as Jason talked about the attraction he'd felt toward Ariadne? No wonder he looked so sad… He even said that he knew the feeling of suddenly being drawn to someone and… Jesus Christ, he was talking about _him. Him!_

As if the earth had moved under him, Jason shuddered, his legs nearly giving in. He closed his eyes tightly and tried breathing through his noise, but the air wasn't enough, his heart seemed adamant to crack his ribs from inside, and he couldn't for the love of his life put his thoughts in anything resembling order.

What was he to understand from this? That Pythagoras… liked him? Like the way he'd apparently liked that Naos bloke? But Jason wasn't like them, and while he had no problems with it, trying to imagine himself in a relationship such as theirs sent waves of alarm flashing through his body. The long-forgotten images of the murals from the bathhouse suddenly flared in front of him, which caused sheer panic to wash through his members.

But most of all, he felt _scared_ \- for Pythagoras. There was no going around the fact that Jason loved Pythagoras dearly, and while this might not have been the kind of love Pythagoras had wanted, Jason didn't want to see his friend getting hurt. God knows, he already got hurt so much, carried so much pain. How could Jason add to that?

When he heard the front door open and close, Jason's heart popped up into his throat. A moment later, Hercules came into the kitchen with a basket full of food, stopped short when noticed Jason, and then stopped again to stare at him when he realised that Jason was practically hyperventilating.

"What is it?" he asked, looking around in alarm.

Jason just shook his head, unable to form a sound. His tongue felt stiff and heavy inside his mouth, his throat closed up from the hard lump that had suddenly formed there.

"Are you sure? You're pale as ghost! Did something happen?"

Jason swallowed, and finally managed to croak out, "Pythagoras."

Hercules straightened up in an instant, eyes flickering toward the general direction of the mathematician's room in worry, so Jason braced himself and let the words flow before Hercules could've jumped to the wrong conclusions. "There's nothing wrong, I mean, I'm not sure about myself, but he's okay, at least he was the last time I check on him, which wasn't long at all, like, a few moments ago, bu-"

"Jason, my lad, keep breathing and talk slower or else I won't understand a thing you say!" Hercules cut in firmly. "What made you so anxious?"

"Pythagoras," Jason repeated, the name suddenly sweet and sour on his tongue at the same time. "He had a nightmare, I slept with him, and this morning he-"

"You _what?!_ "

Jason shuddered from the voice that snapped like a whip on his skin. "I sle- oh, no, _not_ like that! _God_ , no. No." He shut his eyes, the image of him curling his arms around Pythagoras in a loving embrace suddenly burning through his closed eyelids. "No. Just, he had a really bad dream and he was distressed, so I stayed with him for the rest of the night. Then this morning, I woke up sooner, left the bed, did my things, but when I went back to check on him, he was awake and… he was… he…"

How could he say what happened? It wasn't actually anything serious. It would sound ridiculous if he voiced it.

It only made sense if one knew what Jason had experienced; the strange, lingering looks, the shyness, the frequent flushing… It was as if someone had put that significant piece into the puzzle he was trying to solve, and now Jason could see the whole picture clearly. And he did. God, he did.

Hercules' face closed off completely. For long seconds, he just bore his eyes into Jason, then abruptly dropped the basket down onto the table. They both froze when sounds of creaking and faint steps emerged from Pythagoras room.

"Say no more," Hercules murmured, gesturing toward his own room with his head.

Jason followed Hercules into the room, the odd panic flaring anew when the big man closed the door behind them and turned to Jason with a heavy, uncharacteristically serious expression on his face.

"You _knew_ ," Jason gasped, realisation suddenly hitting him in the head.

"That he likes men? Yes. That he fancies you? Yes. That he never intends to act on it? Yes, and yes to all the other fifty-or-so questions that are probably circling around that thick head of yours."

"I... I don't understand," Jason stuttered, at least another dozen of questions popping up in his head from Hercules' words. Heart racing, he found it difficult to meet the older man's eye. "He was right there with me when I was crestfallen because of Ariadne's betrothal. He even tried to cheer me up, and it sounded honest. I've never… I had no idea he felt that way about me!"

"That's because you're oblivious and he's an idiot." Hercules rolled his eyes and walked to his bed, sitting down as Jason remained rooted in place by the door. "He cares a great deal for you and is determined to be a good friend. You can bet that if you ever succeeded in seizing that fair maiden of yours, Pythagoras would be standing there in the front row on your wedding, being happy for you. Oh, he'd be heartbroken, but still happy for you." Hercules' expression softened to something that Jason had never ever seen on his face before. "He's that kind of a guy."

"I don't want to break his heart." He didn't. Dealing with Pythagoras' fears these past few days have made him realise just how much protectiveness he'd felt over his friend; Jason would kill anyone who hurt Pythagoras again. He couldn't begin to picture _himself_ being the one who did that.

Hercules let out a sour huff of a laugh and glanced up at Jason from where he was sitting. "I know. But you can, and maybe you will." Shaking his head, Hercules turned his face toward the window as he continued, "I told him right from the beginning that it was futile, that he should put a stop to it immediately, get laid and forget about this right away, but… if there is one thing I know about love, it's that you can't beat sense into it."

 _Love._ Jason shivered from the strength of the word. So far, it had been 'like', 'attraction' or 'fancy' in his head. Love, however, was something far stronger, and he wished he could've objected, say that it couldn't be love after knowing each other for only such a short amount of time. He wished… but couldn't.

"Then what do I do?" he found himself asking instead.

Hercules rubbed at his forehead as if he was suffering from migraine before glancing up at Jason with a sour face. It was painfully obvious in that moment just how much older he was than Jason and Pythagoras; he had an air around him that he usually lacked but now was prominent - the aura of a full-grown man. Right now, it wasn't so hard to believe that once he'd been something like a father-figure to Pythagoras.

"First, you sit down and drink something heavy. Preferably not in front of our friend, mind you. Then, you shut out everything else and just _think_ about it. Put together the pros and contras. Contemplate. And when you've come up with an answer, whatever it is, act on it." Jason opened his mouth to ask, but Hercules cut him short with a sharp motion of his raised hand. "If you conclude that what he wants is something that's never going to happen, make it absolutely clear to him. The lad has to hit the ground _now_ , because the higher you let him go up, the more he will get hurt upon falling."

Jason nodded absently, bracing himself for the "but"… but it never came. Looking up, he saw Hercules watching him closely, and he fidgeted under the surprisingly sharp gaze. His heart was still drumming uncomfortably, and he wanted to ask, _And what if? What if I decide to…? What if I wouldn't mind…? What if I give it a chance to…? What if…?_ But couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

It shouldn't be a question, though, he knew that. The answer should be _obvious._ In all his life, Jason had never been attracted to males. He knew for a fact that he wasn't physically attracted to Pythagoras. Not that he'd ever given it a passing thought before… And then, there was Ariadne. Sweet, beautiful Ariadne, whose mere mental image was already sending pleasant warmth coiling in his guts.

But… he couldn't deny that thinking about Pythagoras has also pulled a sensitive, vulnerable string inside his chest - a string that was similar, but not connected to the princess. Jason was sure that he would have never considered the option he was tentatively considering now if the recent realisations hadn't emerge, or it had been about anyone else but Pythagoras, but…

But no buts. Jason was willing to consider. Hell, he was _already_ considering.

Biting on his lip, he glanced up again, only to be met with a knowing smile on Hercules' face.

"Don't. Say. Anything," Jason forced through gritted teeth, face heating up in spite of himself.

His friend's smile turned into a smirk. "Wasn't going to."

"Guys? You're both up?" came the question from the living room. Jason tensed up, Hercules however stood up calmly, patting Jason on the shoulder as he went to open the door.

Pythagoras was standing by the table, munching on an apple. He looked up at the sound of the door opening, and upon noticing his friends, he smiled. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw all the food. You're never usually up this early. Well, Jason maybe, but Hercules?"

"Hey!" Said man pulled out a chair and dropped himself down beside the mathematician. "I let you know that I'm perfectly capable of getting up with the sun to fish out the freshest goods at the market."

"That's nice, but where have you got money? I thought you lost everything to Arcas."

"Well, yes I did." Hercules rubbed at his stubble with the contentment of a cunning old fox apparently very pleased with himself.

Pythagoras just stared at him, frowning, until his eyes suddenly widened. Letting out a disbelieving gasp, he gaped at Hercules like an angry fish. "But… But it was _hidden_!"

"Please," Hercules said, chuckling under his breath, "if you believe _that_ to be a good hiding place, you should be ashamed of your creativity."

"You're the worst!" Pythagoras made a wide gesture with his arms before looking up at Jason, still gaping. "Can you believe that?"

Suddenly finding himself right in front of those clear blue eyes, Jason blinked as something pulled sharply at his chest, catching him off guard. He cleared his throat and tried to find the ease he'd always shared with Pythagoras. "Well, at least he bought food with it. Could've been worse."

"That's true," Pythagoras admitted, shooting a disapproving look at their smirking friend. Then, he turned back to Jason, a small frown knitting his bows together as he looked over the man once again, now with more intention. Jason could barely keep himself from tensing up; he felt like he was scanned by those bright eyes. "Is everything alright? You seem… kind of pensive."

Aware that Hercules was watching him closely, Jason tried to shut everything out of his mind save for Pythagoras - Pythagoras, who was sitting there with the half-eaten apple in his lap and a concerned expression on his face; whose soft curly hair was currently an adorable disarray; who probably had a few triangles already knocking impatiently at the back of his mind, demanding attention; who was destined to be a great man, respected by people even hundreds and thousands of years from now on.

Pythagoras, who apparently had feelings for him, the knowledge of which made Jason feel genuinely fluttered and ridiculously scared and pleasantly warm all over in equal measure.

Hercules was right; he had to think this over carefully before acting. He wished nothing less than to hurt Pythagoras (because god knows, the man had already suffered more than enough), and to avoid that, he had to inspect himself deeply and carefully - even those parts that, so far, had been hidden away, unknown and untouched.

Jason found relief in this thought. Whatever would happen today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or any of the coming years… Jason was going to make sure that Pythagoras would never struggle with nightmares because of him.

According to Pythagoras, the Oracle believed that Jason was going to help him heal. And it was right and true, because Jason planned to do _exactly_ that.

When he smiled down at his friend, the gesture finally didn't feel forced at all.

"Don't worry. Everything's fine."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is it for now! 
> 
> I'm sure it won't come as a surprise that a third and final instalment will be added to the series.^^ I can't say when, though; I'd like to keep myself to this 'elaborated episode tag' thingie I've developed, but if the future episodes won't allow for a way to work this story into proper Jagoras, I'll have to divert from canon.
> 
> Well, if you liked the fic, stay tuned for the conclusion. ;) Thank you all for reading!


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